SOFTWARE WIFE 1.0 CAN NOT BE DOWNGRADED TO GIRLFRIEND 5.0 ANYMORE

I got this funny email from my Inventory Control Specialist Mr. Edmon Ramos Maliwat.
Funny Shiznit!




SOFTWARE WIFE 1.0 CAN NOT BE DOWNGRADED TO GIRLFRIEND 5.0 ANYMORE

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all

other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0,

BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever

selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while

attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0, but the 'uninstall'

doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,

"A Troubled User"

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

A lot of men upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that

it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run

EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend

5.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the

system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not

toallow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child

Support).

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the

environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to

alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE

because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the

system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high

maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5,

Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use

these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the

program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the

performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees

2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

WARNING: DO NOT, under any circumstances, install

SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by

Wife1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support